Are we human? (or are we dancer?)

Forgive how long this is- I want to remember everything!

So Shin and I just explored the streets of Delhi. That was an experience. It's a little unnerving when your husband, your older, cultured, brave husband, fears for his own life walking down the street. Not that I think we were in any real danger from humans since there were SO MANY people around. But cars and motorcycles were everywhere.

Anyway, the people of India walk through their streets with confidence. Just like in any big city. Look like you know what you're doing and where you're going. Don't make too much eye contact with anyone.

We encountered three sets of beggars. As we exited our hotel we were instantly accosted by a girl, probably 7yo, and a boy who looked 5yo. They could have easily been older but they were so small and skinny it was hard to tell. Her teeth were yellowed. The boy had a cup of liquid. We kept saying 'no, nay, sorry.' and they kept tapping my elbow saying 'hellooo, hello, helloooo' and begging in their language (I assume Hindi). I later discovered they had an older girl (12? 13?) also with them.

After that heartbreak, we came across a woman, tiny, thin, sitting on the ground. Her tiny, thin young child (4yo?) wrapped around her feet. As she saw us approaching, she put her hands before her face as if in prayer and began to rock back and forth. She didn't get up, just held out her cup and called out 'helloooo' to us. We pretended not to see her and kept moving.

We continued walking down the street covered in trash. There were produce stands selling limes and fruits I didn't quite recognize. There were fast-food stands with men in bare feet frying things. There were men sitting on the ground tossing, smacking, and flattening out dough things.

We finally stopped in a calmer part of the street to try to take it all in. Shouts and honks came from every direction. The putrid smell of the street (trash, fuel, foods, B.O., probably human waste) constantly violated our senses. We saw billboards for Hanes, Samsung, LG, Marlboro... And numerous brands we didn't recognize. We passed a few nice looking hotels. We saw very few women.

What's so neat to see is how different everyone looks: barefoot and impoverished, business casual, jeans and t-shirts, suits and jewels, turbans and robes. Even the women we saw ranged from jean capris and flops to full body/face scarf wraps.

We saw many dogs. As we turned around, it was much easier going back. We knew what to expect, we knew streets were actually better than sidewalks (as long as we didn't get hit). We passed our hotel (and the two sets of beggars) and went the other way. It was all mostly hotels and we didn't go too far, just far enough to pass another tiny woman begging on the street. And we saw women walking with long branches, bound and piled high, balanced on their heads. And saw two young men carrying two looooong trees.

We went back to the hotel. We parted and went to our air conditioned, clean rooms. I washed my feet. But I don't want to wash away the memory of the smells, sights, and sounds. This morning, before group prayer and breakfast (both good), Shin and I stepped outside and crossed the street and looked around. It was quieter and less busy. We saw someone wrapped head-to-toe sleeping (hopefully not dead) on the sidewalk. The person was still out there two hours later when we hit the cacophonous street again.

Anyway, I really want to see people as humans and I want to be human. Not just seeing the brokenness (if someone comes to America, I'm sure they can see much to be pitied). I don't want to feel heartbroken for THESE people and their idols, I want to feel how God's heart breaks for ALL of humanity and all of our idols. I might not post pictures of my idols in my car and home... Or do I? Are my marriage, my friends, myself, or my family my idols (of which I have many pictures)? Do I idolize cleanliness, my health, my appearance? I want to see it all with new eyes. Not just the situation here, but also in my own life. How hypocritical it is to assume that my world is all figured out and I'm here to show them how?

I am here to help and encourage, but not because I'm better. Just because that is what God has sent me to do in this time and place. I don't want to just dance through it all with a simplified or romanticized frame of mind. I want to fully see and know the human brokenness everywhere and then adopt God's passion to relieve it and bring hope and joy.