This is an incredibly true story...
I woke up and went to work Wednesday morning, with one clear goal. I wanted to use a one-day only Old Navy coupon to get some discount capris and a cute, free tote.
I got to take my lunch early in the morning, go check the mail, and head on over to Old Navy. As I left the post office, I realized I didn't have my wallet ($ & DL). I called Shin, he looked around the house and couldn't find it. I headed home - NOT on the way to Old Navy. Looked around for my wallet. I couldn't find it as my lunch hour slowly ticked away. I called my work and asked my boss to look in my desk- it was there. Also NOT on the way to Old Navy.
Well, I grabbed my old wallet from home that had my temporary *paper* license and my Old Navy credit card in it. I asked Shin which way he thought would be fastest to get to Old Navy, he suggested a main thoroughfare and not a backroad. I left and took the backroad- I thought it would be fastest due to less traffic.
I rounded the corner on my way to the store and a police officer came out of the woods on a motorcycle. I slowed down to let him go catch the car in front of me that he was clearly racing after. I was wrong. He pointed at me and directed me to the curb. I was definitely speeding as I had already wasted 10 minutes on the wallet. Unfortunately, I didn't have my DL with me! I explained to him that I only had the temporary one as I was going back to work to get my real one. Thankfully, he accepted it and was patient with me while I searched through every single piece of paper in the glovebox until I came to the last scrap of paper that was my insurance. He quickly wrote me a ticket for going 21 mph over the speed limit.
I drove off in shame to my stupid Old Navy capris. I called Shin to let him know what had happened and he reminded me that I hadn't obeyed his advice. Fortunately, I have an awesome husband who wasn't mad at me, he just liked informing me that he was right. As I approached Old Navy, Shin asked me where his keys were. I looked in the seat next to me to realize I had both sets of keys. He was stranded at home (late for work) until I could get his keys back to him.
Now I had to race into Old Navy and rush back to the house all before my lunch hour was up! I only had 30 minutes left to get the pants, checkout, run home, and get back to work. The capris had been moved around since the last time I was in the store, but I was able to find them, find my size, and jump in line. The checkout took MUCH longer than I wanted, but I still got out of there with just enough time to get home.
I called Shin on my way home and asked him to grab me a nectarine out of the fridge and meet me in the driveway to exchange for his keys. He kindly agreed and was standing outside when I pulled up.
***Let's step away from this scene for a moment and rewind a couple hours earlier in the morning. At work, we all were just given pepper spray by my Executive Director (for our safety as independent women out and about). I decided to test my pepper spray so I could feel comfortable with it when I put it on my keychain. It was fairly anticlimactic. The pepper spray shot off like it was supposed to. The only problem was that it drizzled down my hand as I let up off the trigger. I went inside and washed my hands a couple times. There was still a bit of a tingle, but no major problems. Now, back to the story.***
I drove off from the house towards my work and was actually going to make it on time-
miracle! As I pulled out of the neighborhood, I thoughtlessly rubbed at a slight discomfort in my left eye. My eye immediately burst into flames and exploded out of my face.
As tears streamed from my eye, I attempted to see, keep driving, and look at the clock, I
really needed relief. I knew it would take just as long to turn around and go back home as it would to keep going to my work. I didn't have any water, eyedrops, or ice near me. I grabbed the chilled nectarine next to me and shoved it in my eyeball, continuing on to work. I wear glasses, by the way. No simple trick to drive straight, keep the right lens on the eye, and keep a nectarine on the left eye. I laughed out loud the whole way back to the office as I tried not to rear-end anyone in front of me.
I pulled into the parking lot all crazy-lady style and parked my car diagonally like those people nobody likes. I ran out of the vehicle, nectarine on eye, liquid (tears? juice?) running down face, with cute tote holding capris, phone, and keys. I got into my office, ran to the bathroom to wash my eyeball, and had to explain everything to my boss who watched me stumble into the building... she also took the picture below. Oh, I made it on time and I
did get eyeball relief after a thorough washing.
So, several morals to my lengthy story: 1. Keep your wallet with you when you go out. 2. Only take your keys with you. 3. Listen to your husband's driving instructions. 3. Don't speed. 4. Don't touch your face after using pepper spray, no matter how well you washed your hands. 5. Thank God for this crazy life, and that this doesn't happen every day.
P.S. I learned from my cop neighbor that I can probably go to traffic school and it will keep my very first speeding ticket off my record and from increasing my insurance.
