School
It’s difficult to explain my feelings about school. But lately I’ve had a lot of homework and assignments and it’s been taking up significantly more time than just the four hours sitting in class. So I will attempt to explain my brain about school (I’m sitting in class, so it’s kind of fitting).
-I like school. I like learning. I like understanding how systems work. I like that I’m capable in Excel when one year ago I had never used a spreadsheet. Ever.
-I’m unmotivated to do homework. I don’t want to write a paper or do research. I just want to magically know it and get a degree.
-My class is boring. My teacher is super nice and he loves public administration. But he’s really not a good lecturer. He doesn’t ask a lot of engaging questions and doesn’t allow for discussion.
-I really want my masters. I want to have a Masters of Public Administration with a focus on Nonprofit Management. I want to be super qualified to do something. Something with nonprofits.
-I want to be an educated, ready person. I can tell that I am more able to edit and critique than my coworkers and it’s because of my schooling (note: not smarter than them, just better at catching mistakes).
-I like being around smart people. It’s good to surround myself with people who want to keep learning about the world and understand it better.
-I really don’t have a specific goal upon obtaining the masters. I just know I will have a degree and I can do more stuff with it (I would be lying if I said I didn’t care about the money, but it’s not all about the money- I’m going into nonprofit so my goals aren’t really to be a trillionaire). This lack of a clear vision leaves me feeling like I’m not in a hurry.
-I like all of my extracurriculars. I work 40 hours a week. I go to church on Sundays and Wednesday nights. I have Korean lessons on Monday nights. I have Life Group on Friday nights. I want to be even more involved in my church. I don’t WANT to be cramming my degree in right now.
-It IS cheaper to do it faster. But even if I took 9 hours per semester instead of 3 hours, it would only be $1,000 cheaper. (If I took 6 hours/semester it would save $800). I know I shouldn’t say “only” when we’re talking about $1,000 but in comparison to the cost of my entire education, it’s the cost of one class. And if I took more classes I would be more tired or I would have to get rid of doing something else I like to do. At some point I might make that decision and want to do that- but right now, I’m just fine with being in school for three more years. Even though I don’t LURVE it right now.
-I think a lot of this back and forth between my feelings about school comes from pride. I want people to think I’m smart. I want them to believe I’m capable. But I also like the feeling when I’m presented with a challenge to create/write something and I know I can do it and do it well because of my continuing education. I like knowing that I am capable and I can serve others well. It’s not JUST about me but it is also about my ability to do a job well to create a change I believe in. I want to help people in this world and to do that I have to have a full understanding of systemic problems instead of just offering a band-aid to cover a gash.
- I have decided to take two classes in the fall. We'll see how this goes...AND I'm sure this budget final on Tuesday is going to spank me. I just hope I don't cry too hard when it's all over.
